


Why Is Everything So Big?

by Lanceeselhombre



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Crack, Embarrassed Keith (Voltron), Gen, Not Serious, Nudity, Omorashi, Pee, The crack treats itself kinda serious but I don’t, Vague nudity, based off a tumblr hc, blade of marmora, i’d consider this crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lanceeselhombre/pseuds/Lanceeselhombre
Summary: When Keith chose to start working with the blade full time, he knew it would be difficult. The blade of Marmora operated very differently from the way Voltron did and it would take him some time to adjust. Not only that, but all of his teammates (he wasn’t sure what else to call them) were Galra: a species he knew little about despite it being in his blood. There was new standards, new schedules, new food, a new bedroom- everything had changed.Only, he didn’t expect this to change, at least not so drastically.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in my WIPS for awhile so I just posted it. I was going to make the first chapter longer but eh.

When Keith chose to start working with the blade full time, he knew it would be difficult. The blade of Marmora operated very differently from the way Voltron did and it would take him some time to adjust. Not only that, but all of his teammates (he wasn’t sure what else to call them) were Galra: a species he knew little about despite it being in his blood. There was new standards, new schedules, new food, a new bedroom- everything had changed. 

Only, he didn’t expect this to change, at least not so drastically. 

Everything on the base was bigger than it had been at the castle, which made sense; most Galra were taller and broader than him, meaning they needed bigger beds, seats, tables, utensils, etc. It had come as a small surprise at first, but he quickly got used to the size differences within the first few varga. Nothing was too big that he had a difficult or uncomfortable time with it, so he didn’t think about it too much. 

That was, until he decided to pay the bathroom a visit and realized it might actually be a problem. 

The sinks were almost at the same level as his chest and the edge of the counter jutted out at least a foot more than he was used to. The height of the soap dispensers combined with the width of the counter put them so far out of reach that he had to stand on his toes to reach them. Even the hand dryers were so high up that he would have water running down his arms if he were to use them. 

Keith felt his heart start to sink when he walked up to a urinal and found that it was at his navel and therefore to high up for him to use. There was a lower one, but it was level with his hips, which was still too high. He could technically use that one, but he would rather not risk splashing urine on his suit. That wouldn’t be fun. 

With the urinals no longer an option, the teen turned towards the nearest stall. It was no surprise that the toilet was scaled up in size with everything else, though it still looked usable. The seat was the same height as the urinal (that confused him, but it wasn’t like he was going to ask anyone about why that was) and the bowl was much wider, which with all things considered wasn’t too bad. He would just have to be careful. 

He planned to hoist himself up onto the seat by his hands, but he didn’t want to get his hands dirty in the process, so he decided to keep the suit on while he boosted himself up. The teen gripped the sides of the seat and braced himself, then did a little hop to get on top of the toilet. 

Only to immediately slip and fall in.

He cringed at the cold feeling that enveloped his pelvis and lower back. Thankfully, the water didn’t soak through the fabric due to his suit being waterproof, but that didn’t stop him from feeling any less gross. He quickly grabbed onto the seat to lift himself out and managed to succeed after a few tries. 

After he regained his bearings, he tried to get up again, this time much more carefully. He found his balance while still holding onto the bowl, only to fall again once he let go. He stubbornly tried again and again to make it work, because he was really starting to need to pee, but he just couldn’t balance on only his thighs. It wasn’t going to work. 

The teen reluctantly got off the toilet for the final time and stared at it, biting his lip in contemplation. What was he going to do if he couldn’t use the toilets or urinals? He couldn’t hold it forever, but he also wasn’t about to tell anyone he was too  _ short _ to go. But it also wasn’t like he had another option to get help. 

The sound of water droplets dripping from his suit to the tile floor caused his bladder to stir. Keith squeezed his thighs together and squirmed in place to assuage the throbbing, though it did little to help. He let out a quiet whimper of discomfort when the urge didn’t let up and started looking around the room for a makeshift place to go. He didn’t want to make a mess, but he wasn’t going to be able to think of a proper solution to his problem while he was holding a full bladder. 

He was too scared to pee on the bathroom floor and risk someone seeing him (it was a wonder no one had come in when he fell in the toilet), so he reluctantly left to search the base for a deserted hallway or an empty room. Unfortunately, a place like that was hard to come by on a war base, and by the time Keith found a section of hallways that were decently empty he was grabbing himself to keep holding it. He walked a little further than the first hallway just in case someone strolled by, but he couldn’t wait to hide any better than that. Keith urgently shifted his weight from foot to foot while he quickly shed the top part of his suit and yanked it low enough for him to pull himself out of his pants. He glanced around one more time to make sure he was alone before he aimed and started to pee on the floor. 

The relief was amazing, but he didn’t let himself relax into it too much. He knew he could still get caught and he would prefer to not have that happen. He pressed his muscles to make sure everything came out quickly, listening and looking for people at the same time. The second he was finished he pulled his suit back up and tucked himself in, causing the last few drops to end up in his pants, but he couldn’t really care about that at the moment. He just wanted to get away from the puddle proving what he just did.

He practically ran back to his room in his haste to get away from the crowds in the main part of the base, paranoid that anyone who looked him in the eye would know what he did. Even when he was finally alone in his room, the door locked, he couldn’t relax. He felt  _ naughty _ , and not in a good way. 

But he couldn’t reach the toilets, so it wasn’t like he purposefully made a mess, right? If he had waited he would have just made a bigger one in his pants, so going on the floor wasn’t so bad then, right? At least, that’s what he tried to think to console his own anxiety. 

He sat down on his bed and got comfortable. He still had things to do today, but he needed to calm down first, so he relaxed into his pillows with a sigh and tried to relax.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have liked this chapter to be a little better written but it’s a crack fic so I’m not taking it as seriously as my other projects.

It had been a week since Keith officially joined the blades full-time and he had yet to get caught using the hallways as makeshift bathrooms. The only thing was that he was unsure if he was proud of that fact or ashamed of it. He  _ never _ wanted anyone to know, but he hated doing it. A very small part of him hoped he would get caught, if only so an accommodation could be made that would allow him to use the toilets. 

But of course, for better or for worse, that hadn’t happened yet. 

Finding time to sneak away to a suitable enough place every time he needed to pee was difficult, though, and he had to admit that he hadn’t made it a few times. Sometimes he had no other choice but to hide in a closet or some other small space to keep anyone from seeing the wet spot growing on the front of his pants. On one particularly unfortunate day, he even wet the bed because he hadn’t been paying attention to the time and didn’t go before curfew. 

Still, no one knew and he decided that for now he was happy about that. 

He was debating bringing it up to Kolivan, but he was reluctant to do so knowing that the man would scold him for not bringing it up sooner. Accommodations were a common necessity on the base with how diverse Galra were, and if Keith neglected to mention he needed one for such a basic function then he would get an earful for sure. He didn’t want to hear another spiel with how often he already got scolded for other things, so for right now he was continuing suffering in silence. 

Keith was starting to get that heavy feeling in his pelvis again that meant he would have to start his search for a place to pee. He sighed, but mentally psyched himself up for it. The feeling that this was wrong was something he still hadn’t been able to shake and it made him feel terrible. Some warrior he was, huh?

When he was ready, he got up from his seat in the dining commons, put away his dishes, and left for the west side of the base. It was typically the most empty section of the base during meals, which made him confident there would be a hallway somewhere over there that was vacant. Thankfully, he wasn’t too desperate, so he had ample time to make sure his chosen spot was secure. 

He eventually picked a hallway behind the control room; a place that was rarely visited on a normal basis. Once he was sure he was alone, he wiggled his suit down to his hips, pulled himself out, and aimed at the floor in front of him. He stood there in anxious silence for a moment, still not used to this, before he could get a stream going. The teen let himself relax a little into the relief, but like always he clenched down to finish faster. He would be mortified if he got caught.

“Keith? What are you doing?” 

The boy startled badly at the sound of his name and froze, petfried from fear. In his shock, he momentarily let go of his dick and started peeing all over the bottom half of his suit. He half expected to freeze up and stop going, but his body did the opposite and let the pee pour out of him even faster instead. 

After a moment, Keith finally came back to his senses enough to grab his dick again and aim it away from himself, then quickly turned away for privacy. He sheepishly glanced over his shoulder at whoever it was, only to see  _ Kolivan _ of all people. 

He whipped his head in the other direction so quick he could have given himself whiplash. Dread pooled heavily in his belly. Dear god, just kill him now; he was already dead. 

Heavy silence hung between them as Keith’s piss went from splattering on the floor, to a trickle, and finally to nothing. The teen shoved himself back inside his suit and pulled the suit back up the second he was done, unable to care less about the drops dampening his underwear. The only thing he could think about was that he just got caught completely red handed by the worst person possible. 

“I was wondering who was leaving puddles of urine all over the base.” The Galra said, surprisingly much less angry than Keith thought. Was that concern in his tone? “Why did you not use the restroom?” 

The blade forced himself to look his leader in the face. Thankfully, the only emotion there was that of bewildered concern. He would take that over anger any day. “Uh, um…I- uh” Keith stuttered, still very much afraid of the repercussions of being found out. “I, uh, can’t use it.” He said truthfully. 

Kolivan’s expression grew even more confused. “What do you mean?” 

Keith bit his lip anxiously.  _ Here it comes.  _ “I’m too short for the urinals and I keep falling in the toilets.” He admitted, bracing for the man’s potential reaction. 

It took a moment for that information to sink into the Galra’s mind. When it finally did, he facepalmed and drug his hand exasperatedly down his face. He sighed tiredly, “Keith, how many times must we tell you to  _ speak up _ if you need something?” 

The teen winced slightly at his words. “I’m sorry, I thought it was a stupid problem a-“

“Urine is a biohazard Keith!” He growled, quickly growing visibly frustrated with the younger blade. “People can get sick from it! You put your and others’ health in danger because you thought it was a ‘stupid problem’!”

Keith frowned at him. He wanted to be upset for getting yelled at, but when it was put like that, he did kind of deserve it. “I thought there would have to be some major changes made to the bathrooms and that it would be too much of an effort.” He explained, crossing his arms defensively. 

The Galra sighed again in irritation. “Repairs could have built you a step stool or added grab bars in some of the stalls. It’s not a difficult problem to fix.” 

Hearing that, Keith just felt silly for not saying anything. That was really all that was needed? “Oh.” He said simply.

Kolivan’s disapproving frown never wavered, but he didn’t continue berating the young blade. Instead, he looked down at the boy’s ruined suit and scrunched up his nose in disdain. “Go change into a different suit. Once you’re done come to my office.” He ordered. 

“Sir.” Keith answered half-heartedly. He turned to go do as he was commanded, eager to get away from Kolivan and out of his wet clothes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is so short. I’m not very good at dialogue heavy stuff so I just made this conversation straight to the point.
> 
> Also, a huge thank you to my friend grabs who helped me with this!

Twenty minutes later, Keith was standing outside of Kolivan’s office in a dry suit. He would rather not be here, but he knew better than to ignore his leader’s orders. Whatever punishment would result from that would be worse than any lecture Kolivan might give him now.

He was still mortified by the whole situation. He was embarrassed and upset that he got caught and that the man saw him make a literal mess of himself. He felt like a dunce, too, for letting the problem persist this long after learning there was a simple solution. And now he was anxious about what potentially waited behind the office door in front of him. 

He raised a heavy hand to rap on the door. Not long after, the lock turned green and Keith took that as his cue to go inside. 

Kolivan was sitting at his desk with a tablet propped up in front of him. The man stared down at it, not seeming to react to his entrance. Seeing his face made the teen feel that much worse, but he stepped in front of the desk, stood at attention, and waited for his leader to speak. 

He didn’t have to wait very long. “You are on probation until further notice.” Kolivan said without looking up from the tablet. 

“What?” Keith asked, eyes blowing wide in shock. That hardly seemed like a fair punishment. “I thought-“

“You disregarded protocol and put yourself and others at risk of illness in the process.” Kolivan said, cutting him off. “If you cannot abide by basic protocols put in place for your own safety, then you cannot be trusted to be a blade.” 

“But you said it wasn’t a big deal!” Keith started to argue. He couldn’t get put on probation, not while the war was still going on, not while his friends were still risking their lives. “How is this bad enough for probation?”

Kolivan looked at him with a hardened expression and the teen almost shrunk away. “The initial issue was minor, but you did not address it. You started urinating in the  _ hallways  _ of all places, Keith. That is childish and unacceptable.”

His face flushed hotly at the beratement. Okay, yeah, that hadn’t been his smartest decision. He deserved that one. 

Still, he really didn’t want to be on probation, but he knew there was no persuading Kolivan out of his decision. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too long, at least. “How can I get my position back?” He asked. 

“When you prove that I can trust you to follow orders.” 

Keith went to ask how he was supposed to do that, but Kolivan continued talking. “I’ve alerted your superiors to the situation. You are permitted to continue restricted training, but you are to report to my office anytime you are not on the training grounds.” The man said.

“Yes sir.” He responded, worried that anything else would only make his punishment worse. 

“I have also put in a request for the changes to the restrooms. It will take about 4 quintants for the installations to be done. So, until then, you are to tell your superiors or I when you need to visit the restroom and we will assist you.” 

Keith couldn’t stop himself from gaping at that. Was he really serious? There was no way he was going to let someone else hold him up like a little kid so he could use the bathroom. “I’m not some little kid.” He protested.

His leader frowned at him again. “Maybe not, but you have certainly been behaving like one.” He growled. “You will follow the orders I gave you. And if I find out that you urinate anywhere but the toilets, I will not hesitate to dismiss you permanently.” 

There wasn’t anything that he could say to that. He was angry and humiliated at how Kolivan was treating him, but deep down he knew he deserved it. Everything the man said was true and he couldn’t deny that. But it didn’t make him any less upset. 

When he didn’t say anything, Kolivan spoke up. “Am I understood?” 

Keith hung his head. “Yes.” 


End file.
